Fifteen. Girl. Proud to be one. Hope is all I have to live. Music. Adam Levine. Fairy-tales. Intelligence. Love. Disney. ♥
REBLOG IF YOU HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER GET OVER 10 FOLLOWERS.
I didn’t even think I’d get 1..
(Source: imjustagirlwithadr3am, via yeahbuddyvashappenin)
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His love is all she knows.
So you look at her? From a distance. Doesn’t she look all happy? Laughing aloud with her girlfriends. Not giving a care in the world, being crazy. Doesn’t think of you what you’re thinking about her sitting on that bench. Judging her. She knows it all. She can see you by her peripheral vision. Pretends like she can’t. Goes on, making weird expressions. Giving you a few more reasons to judge maybe? Feels good ain’t it? To judge people? Making up stories about her in your tiny little shallow head? Must be fun.
She saw you staring at her from the bus. The last seat. She wasn’t sure if you were looking at her or the girl next to her. But she knew, you were looking. Judging full on. But she couldn’t help it.
She makes everyone laugh. She looks like she doesn’t give a damn about how ugly she looks. How she can’t change a thing about herself. She knows cries the entire night. no exaggeration.
She knows what happens when you cry for 9 hours straight, your eyes swell. They become so sore that you can’t blink. That pain, gave her a certain kind of satisfaction. Maybe she’s sadistic. She likes feeling that pain. Because she knows that the one she cries for is worth it all. For two years, she acted like it didn’t bother her. Even now, when people take his name, her heart races faster than ever. When has a glimpse of his face, flashes of the times they were together cross her mind. The way he caught her hand, on the sidewalk when no one was looking. How he moved her hair, kissed her on the neck? Yeah. That feeling. She felt it all, just by looking at his face. She has to smile at him, act like in that split second, none of that went through her mind. Act like, it hasn’t killed her over these months, them not being together. She knew he would never feel about her the same way. Because it was her at the end of the day. She’d go home, lie down on her bed, and then wonder. All over again. She took the blade, stood in the front of the mirror, wanting to gather up all the courage to end herself. How could she live like this? Like she was half dead already? He had closed his eyes on her. He would never look at her the same way. That killed her. She closed her eyes, cut her hand from the top, as the slit her hand, the images of her brother came across, her mother saying that she was the best daughter no matter what just flashed.
She broke down, she couldn’t do it. Maybe she used it as an excuse. But.. she just couldn’t do it. Bloody dripping on the floor, with the tears she cried. All mixed together. They were symbolic of her holding on. For so long.
She came out of her room, hugged her mom. Kissed her brother. Acted like nothing happened.
Got up the next morning, feeling helpless, with the hope, he’d come back. Praying to God she truly believed in. She still hopes…
Another day where she’s gotta act like nothing wrong has ever happened to her. Making people laugh. Doing all that she was doing before.
And hoping.. For him. To come back. Forever and never leave…
| me: | hey I just met you and- |
| me: | why are you walking away |
